Trouble in Paradise
by Fire Tears
Summary: Tony and Steve are having severe relationship problems, Steve might have a thing going on with Jan, and Tony's been spotted in a bar. Oh, and Iron Man is having trouble accepting the fact that his employer's bisexual. No, really. Would the tabloids lie?


**Disclaimer:** All characters are © Marvel. No profit is being made from this work.

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**Trouble in Paradise**  
_Tony and Steve are having severe relationship problems, Steve might have a thing going on with Jan, and Tony's been spotted in a bar. Oh, and Iron Man is having trouble accepting the fact that his employer's bisexual. No, really. Would the tabloids lie?_

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_**TROUBLE IN PARADISE?**_

Peter read the headline of the _Examiner_ from over MJ's shoulder, having been drawn over by her irritated huff. She was sitting on the smaller couch in Stark Tower's living room with her legs tucked up beside her. Peter loved her legs. And the rest of her, too, but definitely her legs.

"'Trouble in paradise'?" he repeated aloud, frowning at the tabloid. The frown only deepened when he saw a glossy, full-colour picture of Cap and a pretty brunette woman dining together at what looked like a really nice restaurant. _That_ was unexpected. Curious, he began to skim the article—he didn't recognize that lady, but he had a sinking feeling about why the tabloids had printed a picture of her with Cap. The last time they'd had a picture of MJ, the tabloids had said she was sleeping with Tony, and she hadn't even been _with_ Tony in the picture.

_ It looks like there's some rough water brewing between the superhero community's most prominent couple. Numerous accounts have commented on the strain that seems to have developed between billionaire Tony Stark and national icon Captain America. When rumours cropped up about the nature of their 'friendship' just a few months ago, the pair shocked the nation by admitting to their relationship on live television, and have been met with varying reactions, from support to anger—and it seems that the stress of that, along with other factors, is taking its toll on their relationship._

_ "They've been having arguments lately," an inside source confirms. "They've been trying to keep it quiet, but it's becoming obvious that there's a lot of tension." _

"'Inside source'?" Luke repeated from just behind Peter, making him jump. When Peter turned to look at him, Luke's face was drawn in disgust. "More like, 'shit we made up on the fly'. Who the hell talks to these people?"

"I think Logan does," Jessica Drew said, her tone mock-serious. Both she and Jessica Jones had also come over to peer over MJ's shoulder, apparently intrigued by the tell-tale signs of tabloid-induced irritation.

"At least they're not saying that Tony's sleeping with MJ again," Peter offered, and MJ snorted, not even looking up from the article.

"That's because Tony scared the crap out of them the last time they did." She frowned. "'On the whole, Tony's a nice guy,'" she read aloud, "'but he's got a lot of issues and I don't think Cap was really prepared for that. It's one thing to be friends, but being in a relationship with someone like that is a whole other thing.'" She relinquished the paper to Jessica Jones when Jessica reached for it, but didn't look any less annoyed. "'Someone like that'?" she demanded, as if the tabloid would 

answer her. "What do they think Tony is, some sort of psycho?"

"Um, you did just say that he scared the crap out of them..." Peter pointed out, but MJ ignored him in favour of standing and walking around the couch to examine the paper in Jessica Jones' hands, apparently still irritated enough to want to... make herself more irritated.

Jessica Jones wrinkled her nose in disgust as she took her turn reading over the tabloid. She stopped reading at probably the second paragraph, and looked like she wanted to set it on fire.

"That's revolting," she snapped, thrusting the _Examiner_ back to MJ (Peter grabbed it this time) and sounding personally offended. Well, actually, being a _real_ reporter, she probably was. "Don't they ever think that they might _cause_ half the relationship problems high-profile people have?"

"Oh, hey, look," Peter interjected, trying to lighten the mood before MJ or Jessica Jones decided to go beat up the EIC of the _Examiner_ or something. He pointed at the middle of the article. "Iron Man doesn't approve, either."

Luke stole the paper from him, peering at it, then actually smirked. "Okay, that's funny."

"What?" Jessica Jones frowned. Jessica Drew took the paper this time—apparently it was show-and-tell time at Stark Tower—and read the Iron Man part out loud.

"'Iron Man has been the source of some of the couple's stress as well,'" she began. "Blah blah blah... 'He doesn't want to say anything, but I know it bothers him,'" she continued, now obviously reading what one of the 'sources' had to say. "'I'm not saying he's homophobic or anything, but your male boss sleeping with your team leader—that has to be uncomfortable.'"

"That's impressive," MJ said admiringly, taking the paper back, but held it up for Peter to see when he tried to read over her shoulder again. "I didn't think anything could top the stuff about Tony and me for being so completely _wrong_."

Peter read a little further, and finally got to the part that explained Cap and the woman he was eating dinner with in the picture at the top of the article. Apparently, that was the Wasp—who was also a fashion designer, but Peter wasn't really up on them; he mostly just liked focusing on how good MJ looked in their stuff—which made sense, since the Wasp had been an Avenger, like Cap and Tony, and people went out to eat with their friends all the time. Except... not, apparently, since the _Examiner_ seemed to think it was weird to have girls for friends. Honestly, Peter had gotten over his fear of cooties by grade three. Four. Okay, five.

_"They've always gotten along great, and there's a lot of history there," a pal admits. "I don't think it would surprise anyone if something more developed between them." The source hastened to add, however, that Captain America would be sure to break things off with Stark before pursuing anything more than friendship with Ms van Dyne. "Cap's not that kind of person. No matter what Tony might do, Cap would never cheat on anyone." _

"Man, they imply that Cap's got a thing for the Wasp and _Tony's_ the bad guy?" Luke asked 

incredulously, crossing his arms over his chest. "Where the hell does that start making sense?"

"It's because he's rich," Jessica Drew answered dryly. "And good-looking. And smart. People find that offensive."

The article had one last barb to throw in its closing lines:

_Most of those who know the couple well agree that this probably spells the end of the relationship._

_"It's sad," a friend says, "because they really do care about each other, but I think they've both realized that it just isn't going to work." _

"Wow," Peter said, pointing at that last sentence. "I think someone forgot to tell Cap and Tony."

"Forgot to tell us what?"

They all turned, a little startled, to see Tony and Cap standing in the doorway. Cap had his arm casually wrapped around Tony's waist, and Tony was leaning into him a little bit, which suddenly made the whole situation a lot more funny than annoying. When none of them answered right away, Cap frowned and repeated, "Forgot to tell us what?"

"Did you know," Jessica Drew said, perfectly serious, "that you two really do care about each other, but you've realized that your relationship just isn't going to work?"

Cap stared at her blankly. "What?"

Tony was a bit quicker on the uptake, probably because he had a lot more experience with evil tabloid reporters printing libel about him. He could, Peter thought, probably give Spiderman a run for his tights in the bad press department. Also there was that thing where Tony could access the internet with his brain, and Peter was pretty sure, from the sudden smirk on Tony's face, that Tony had just read the whole story.

Tony pulled away from the arm Cap had wrapped around his waist and turned to face him with a solemn expression. "Sorry, Steve. I meant to tell you. We've been having a lot of arguments lately, and there's been a lot of tension between us."

"There's been—Tony, _what?_"

Peter could almost pity Cap, considering the totally bewildered expression on his face, but Peter was a little bit busy trying not to start snickering and ruin the whole thing.

"It's perfectly understandable that you went to dinner someone else," MJ told him, her tone really believably sympathetic. "Relationship troubles can be so difficult."

Peter was really envious of her acting skills. His cheek was starting to hurt from biting the inside of it to keep a straight face. In the corner of his eye, he could definitely see Luke starting to grin 

slightly, which made him feel a little better. Thankfully, Cap was still too distracted to notice.

"But if you really will be happier with Jan," Tony added, clasping one of Cap's hands in both of his, "then I'll let you go."

There was a moment of silence, and then Cap asked, in that scary-calm don't-mess-with-me Captain America tone, "Tony, _what is going on?_"

Peter tried, he really did, but he just couldn't hold it in any longer. He started snickering, and then Luke joined in, and then he couldn't _stop_. Not even when Cap gave them a Look that promised bad things if someone didn't tell him what was going on _right now_.

Tony was grinning. "Tabloid article," he explained, nodding at MJ. She held out the article to Cap, who took it warily and skimmed it. Cap's expression darkened as he read through it, until he was actually scowling at the tabloid.

"How can they say any of this?" he demanded, shaking the paper once. "It's blatant _lying_; no one we know talks to tabloids, and they wouldn't say this kind of thing even if they did."

"It's a _tabloid_. They pay for that kind of gossip, and people will make it up and pretend they're connected to get the money," Tony said dryly. "And we're sort of a hot topic right now. Tabloids will take it and run."

"It was just _dinner_," Cap continued, as if Tony hadn't spoken. "There's _never_ been anything between Jan and I."

"No, but it wouldn't surprise anyone if there was," Tony said, "except for Hank, I think. And you. And Jan. Me. Carol, too, and Scott, and Falcon, and Simon, and Clint..." He paused. "Well, maybe not Clint," he amended. Cap glared at him, which would have made Peter shut up, but Tony's secret superpower was being immune to intimidation by Captain America. Which was sometimes more useful than being able to climb walls.

Tony pulled the paper out of Cap's hand and tossed it on the couch, then took ahold of Cap's wrist and tugged him in the direction of the hallway.

"We'll be awhile," Tony told the rest of them as he retreated toward his and Cap's room. "Working on relationship problems as severe as ours takes time."

"Tony—" Cap began.

"Come on, Steve." Tony's grin was slightly evil. "We're going to relieve some tension."

.

.

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_**TROUBLE IN PARADISE?**_

It looks like there's some rough water brewing between the superhero community's most prominent couple. Numerous accounts have commented on the strain that seems to have developed between billionaire Tony Stark and national icon Captain America. When rumours cropped up about the nature of their 'friendship' just a few months ago, the pair shocked the nation by admitting to their relationship on live television, and have been met with varying reactions, from support to anger—and it seems that the stress of that, along with other factors, is taking its toll on their relationship.

"They've been having arguments lately," an inside source confirms. "They've been trying to keep it quiet, but it's becoming obvious that there's a lot of tension."

Those close to the couple, however, say that the news isn't surprising.

"We were really shocked when they first got together," a close friend, who wishes to remain nameless, told the _Examiner_. "It just seemed like such a strange match. I'm not going to name names, but a lot of us are surprised it's lasted this long."

Iron Man has been the source of some of the couple's stress as well. According to those close to the Golden Avenger, Iron Man has had difficulty with the fact that one of his teammates is involved with his employer.

"He doesn't want to say anything, but I know it bothers him," the friend told the _Examiner_. "I'm not saying he's homophobic or anything, but your male boss sleeping with your team leader—that has to be uncomfortable."

It's also been suggested that Stark's history of personal problems may be playing a role in the failing romance. Although Stark has apparently been sober for years now after a long struggle with alcoholism, reports have placed him in a bar in Nevada recently while on a business trip.

"On the whole, Tony's a nice guy, but he's got a lot of issues and I don't think Cap was really prepared for that," a source tells us. "It's one thing to be friends, but being in a relationship with someone like that is a whole other thing."

Even more telling, just last week Captain America was spotted having dinner with Janet van Dyne, wealthy fashion designer and heiress—and also a fellow Avenger, well-known as the Wasp. Although Ms van Dyne has been away from active Avengers duty and out of the country until recently, she and Captain America have apparently kept in contact despite the disbanding of the Avengers.

"They've always gotten along great, and there's a lot of history there," a pal admits. "I don't think it would surprise anyone if something more developed between them." The source hastened to add, however, that Captain America would be sure to break things off with Stark before pursuing anything more than friendship with Ms van Dyne. "Cap's not that kind of person. No matter what Tony might do, Cap would never cheat on anyone."

Most of those who know the couple well agree that this probably spells the end of the relationship.

"It's sad," a friend says, "because they really do care about each other, but I think they've both realized that it just isn't going to work."


End file.
